Wow, who saw this coming?

Blah Blah Blah... Depression.
All serious though for just a moment. Like every teenager and young adult, I suffer from mass depression, anxiety, and ADHD. Shocker. Miraculously, I got past it. I then started to come on here to hang out with friends, give people joy, administrate the rules obviously, and to just have a good time. But then I started to notice something. I became more of a angry, obsessive, and overall just a bad guy. I was wondering why I was becoming like this, why I was never really changing back to how I used to be, who I really was. Of course, all the scary words from the beginning came back and now I'm back at square one. I started to wonder though, why did they come back. Ah of course! My definition of "friends" was slowly killing me.
In general; I feel as if I am given wicked respect, am only wanted if it benefits someone else, am never listened to, never believed, never really... wanted.
Of course there are people in my life that show me respect and are actual friends. If you think you are one of these, keep thinking it! We are still, I just probably won't be around a lot anymore. Of course not that kind of way, I'll still be on, don't worry.
That bad friendships thing might not seem that bad to you, but when your symptoms are controlling your memory and feelings. You kind of want them to be a little be nicer. Were they nicer? Of course not! Figures...
Oh yeah personal issues too! Will I tell you? NO. It's my business *hmphf*
Anyways the memory thing, let's just say it has gotten pretty bad. I do remember standing up in a small room one time, then *Blank*. All of a sudden I'm on the floor with a gash in my head and as pale as Micheal Jackson on his deathbed. I am slowly getting to the point to where I don't even trust my own memories. The "friends" that would listen to me would say that they would not believe me, or that I'm "doing it again". That is NOT something you want to hear when you're listening your mind!

I would appreciate respect, but it might not even be worth it to give me any. I don't know who and what to believe anymore. There are those few I still do, and they well know who they are.

I would like to thank everyone on the staff for this opportunity, please continue being good people. If y'all aren't good people, then be prepared to start feeling like me real soon.


Well-Known Member
TF2 Admin
Love you nun, hang in there dude. Seems like you're going through a rough spot, but I think you'll get through it. Let's do more MVM some time. ❤


TF2 Admin
I hope you find the time and health you're searching for. Take care Nun.


Active Member
TF2 Admin
Even though we bumped to each other a few times around 2019 (and a lot back in 2016, which you probably don't remember me), it was a pleasure working along side with another staff that goes way back. Hope you do find your path


Active Member
TF2 Admin
Much support fellow admin. It's refreshing when reading your resignation you realize you changed.. takes a lot of guts to come to this realization. It was a great time gaming with you on the servers when we were on together. Sending all my love and support to someone who needs it the most in this difficult time. <3